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Curbly TD Rant Club Week #5: Garage Make-Over

by on Mar 8, 2007

Last night’s episode of Bravo’s Top Design was a turning point for me. Somewhere in the middle, I realized I was obliged to watch it, but not because of these Curbly posts. No, it was more like being compelled to watch a car wreck. You don’t want to look, but something about the magnitude of the disaster makes you take a peek anyway.

The Task

The seven remaining designers were asked to re-design the garage of the Bell family. The Bell’s had a few requirements for the space. They wanted storage, of course, a play area and stage for the children and a home office. Oh, a spot for the SUV. They may have said something about an area to use as a crack den, but I kind of zoned out after the stage request.

Next, the contestants were required to create a 3D model of their design. Seeing these come together was the highlight of the show, for me. After presenting their models to the Bell’s, the family picked Andrea’s design. She became the leader of the remaining six who were to act as her design crew.

The Drama

Something about Carisa being a slacker; Michael calling her on it. Blah, blah, blah.

The Winners and Losers

Since it was a team challenge, and Andrea’s design was chosen by the Bell family, for which she received immunity, I guess she won. The loser, I’m afraid, was the ‘artist’ Ryan because his graphics, which amounted to a couple of stripes on the garage floor, were terribly sad. So, he was off for ‘a glass of agent orange and a shot of napalm,’ whatever the hell that meant.

The Summation

Low-lights were just about everything, but in particular, Goil’s rolling dog bed, which was a waste of his talent and Michael’s Shakespearian (grape) drapery, which the judges thought wasn’t right for a garage. Excuse me, but what fabric IS right for a garage? And the highlights? The slacker’s home office wasn’t too bad.

Although the Bells seemed to like what the designers did with their $5,100 budget, I would have called a garage remodeler and went the ‘homogenized’ route, which would have suited me much better than this train wreck.