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‘If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.’

by on Jun 9, 2010


Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young were talking to a guy about a girl–actually, two girls–in their tune “Love The One You’re With“, but the advice can be easily applied to the places in which we live. The notion came to me recently when a relative was saying that the home he owned wasn’t anybody’s ‘dream house’. It wasn’t even his dream house. He went on to say that, because of this, the property didn’t necessitate any more investments in upgrades. Basically, his house wasn’t worth anymore trouble. I found this to be rather depressing for several reasons. First, all homes are someone’s dream home, because, you know, it’s a home and there are a lot of people in the world without them. Second, how sad to give up on the home you chose in which you spend your life. And third, pining for something you can’t have right now or ever doesn’t do any good. So, to co-opt Stills’s lyrics, if you can’t live in the house you’d love, love the one you’re living in. 

The next question is, how do you get to the point of accepting your non-dream home as your right-now dream home? One way is to turn it into the home of your dreams, like we diy-ers are compelled to do. The other way comes from loving your home’s imperfections. Loving the quirks, it seems, is the easiest, fastest, least expensive way to accept the fact that the home you’d love may not be the one you’ll ever get. Depressing thought? Not if you decide to love the one you’re with.