You know the person at big family gatherings like Thanksgiving, (or my Aunty M's christmas bash) who can't be trusted not to score a messy direct hit on cherished linens, upholstery or carpet? The person you kind of wish you could put at the kid table complete with a drop cloth?
That person would be me. Hi. Sorry.
Luckily I come quipped with knowledge of how to deal with spillage disasters.