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Day 44: If You Can't Stand The Heat...

By egellia Picture+003

So I wrote before about this window in the kitchen. How Johnny changed the sash already but it keeps slipping off the pulley. How we spent 45 sweaty minutes together trying to make it right, but four times it slipped off again until finally we said “Screw it, we don’t need no open window in the kitchen anyhow.” Well, it’s almost August, and it turns out we do. I’ve decided over the intervening months that the problem is Johnny used nylon clothesline cord, which is slippy, and if I just replace it with good cotton sash cord it will work... »MORE

July 25, 2007
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Day 43: Window Mistreatment

By egellia Img_0013

I actually didn’t feel like doing anything today, because I’m sunburned and I’m tired and it’s a grand, soft day outside, and it just feels like a good day to crawl back in bed with the newspapers I never got around to reading yesterday… But I didn’t do anything yesterday, and I didn’t really do anything on Saturday, and I didn’t do anything on Friday either, and – yeesh, now that I’m looking I really haven’t done anything much around here since the joint compound incident last Tuesday. Phone calls, furniture pick-ups, poetry – none of that counts as work... »MORE

July 23, 2007
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Day 42: With Apologies To The Unicorns

By egellia Assvac_medium

a long time ago like yesterday and there was more things going Wrong than you could ever say i was running around getting f.ed at every turn and the worstiest of all was the ace of furn there was meanKeyspanpeople and Comcastfreaks there was humper bumper traffic and toilet leaks there was trainsanddrainsandhusbandfights but sure as you’re born the worstiest of all was the ace of furn the furnace guy promised he would come and see he says "stand back i'll be there at fivethirty" fivethirty comes and i'm sittinonthecouch this back can't be no good for my slouch (Imean)... »MORE

July 20, 2007
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Day 41: Dealing With A Staunch Character.

By egellia Picture+001

Johnny said that after work he’d show me how to j.c. the closet proper. Set me up and teach me how. Because as much as he’s pretending it’s okay, it’s just a closet, it’s driving him mad the mess I made in there— Oh, all right, I’ll show you a picture. Here: Oh, what the hell, have three: But you better appreciate it, because it’s too light in there for flash and too dark without it, so I had to find Johnny’s work light in the basement and run the extension cord to get this g-d picture just so y’all... »MORE

July 18, 2007
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No Big Love On THIS Compound

By egellia Assvac_medium

I asked Johnny to sum up the how-tos for me again this morning, because he was not exactly crystal-clear on the finer points of the procedure yesterday. So he did. It goes pretty much like he said yesterday: slathe it, press the tape, cut the tape, slathe it again (but, like everything else about homeownership, you really can’t know what that means until you’ve done it). And then, before he hopped out of the car he gave me one last bit of advice: “You’re gonna need that small dropcloth,” he said, “because you’re gonna get it everywhere.” Well, you don’t... »MORE

July 17, 2007
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Day 39: That's Enough Of That

By egellia Assvac_medium

Oy yoy yoy. If you live with somebody you love, don’t smoke, okay? Or, actually, go ahead and smoke all you want, just make sure you always have a spare carton in the freezer. Because I don’t really care about the cancer or the smell or any of the rest of it – that’s all your body and your stink and I’d just as soon keep my laws off the whole shebang. But sheesh, a smoker without smokes is a pain in the toosh – and now that’s my toosh we’re talking about. Johnny was out of cigarettes – had... »MORE

July 16, 2007
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Day 38: I Think We're A-Gonna Hafta Paint 'Er

By egellia Picture+004

Number one and first of all: I was right. And we all know that is the most important thing. Darker don’t do diddly. I bought the darkest Minwax stain I could find in the wee-sized pot. “Dark Walnut.” They didn’t have a sample of it, and you know you can never trust those pictures on the can, but what the hell. I figured I was giving this one final shot – one final half-assed shot, I should say – and then it would be latex time. (For a moment, actually, I did find myself contemplating Minwax latex wood stain instead... »MORE

July 13, 2007
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Day 37: Plugging Away

By egellia Picture+029

Every day this week I’ve been meaning to get started on the closet. But every day this week I've forgotten to ask Johnny before he left for work what “getting started on the closet” might entail. And by the time he would get home, I’d have found something else to do that day – so then why bother asking? Finally, this morning, I remembered. He wasn’t all the way awake yet, but I remembered to ask him and then it was his job to remember after he’d had a cup of tea. He didn’t, but I (for once) remembered to... »MORE

July 12, 2007
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Day 36: Personality Screening

By egellia Assvac_medium

So I didn’t sleep last night, because of the PAP PAP PAP (heard it again this morning from somewhere up inside the skylight; nearly knocked me off the stairmaster). Between the actual noise and the subsequent fits of wonder, the only hour of rest I got was one after which I was supposed to be awake. The first thing I did was cancel plans for tonight that I’d confirmed a month ago (I’ll see you before you go, Steph, I promise). The second thing I did was start planning for bedtime. Normally, this is the point at which I would... »MORE

July 11, 2007
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Day 35: Goody-nough

By egellia Assvac_medium

Ooh, here’s a new development… So Johnny’s been telling me for quite some time now that “this guy up at the pub who’s name I can’t remember but he’s a lawyer, honey” says we should file some homestead something or other on our house, and in fact this guy will do it for us if only we bring him our tax returns and the deed to our house. Well, gosh. Here you go, honey. Let me know how it turns out. NOT! I swear to god, I love him. But if there is anyone on this green earth who'd trade... »MORE

July 10, 2007
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Day 34: Didn't I Tell You, Tina...?

By egellia Img_0015(1)

I got into the knob-less closet. I didn't get a chance to start doing anything around here today until before I knew it Johnny was calling to be picked up from work. The weather is too gross and sticky for staining or painting, too gross and sticky for any work harder than staining or painting, and Goody (who, by the way, is pissed at having been locked down celler for the weekend) wouldn't let me make my very first day back also be my very first self-declared day off. So on the way to go get Johnny I decided if... »MORE

July 09, 2007
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Miles To Go Before We Sleep... (A Photo Essay)

By egellia Picture+028

I can't quit now. Just from where I'm sitting, for example, I can see something desperately needing to be done: Ain't it cute? It's Superman. Johnny's nephew drew it on my desk when he stayed with us a couple summers ago. How old was he at the time, you ask? 26. I didn't do anything about it at first because he said he was coming back and I was going to make him do it when he got here, but he knocked up some girl and never did come back, and I put my dictionary over it (which is maybe... »MORE

July 06, 2007
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Day 33 (late), Project 13: Not Recommended

By egellia Picture+026

... Not while the machine's on spin cycle, anyway. Oh, it didn't fall -- but only just. Only just. (Please note how carefully I placed the iced coffee up on the shelf, though. Wouldn't want that spilling all over the floor. I might have to clean it up with, like, a mop or something...) Also not recommended: questioning every step of the way a job that is spelled out in every how-to book and that your husband has been doing for (have I mentioned?) thirty years. Yes, you have to sand between the coats of varnish (why? because the second... »MORE

July 06, 2007
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Day 32; Project 13: What I SHOULD have done...

By egellia Picture

... would be to take the handles off the closet in the bedroom, and stain them while I was at this, since they're the exact same doors and handles that I'm working with, but somehow these handles got forgot about when they were stained two years ago. Good thing we never close them or they might be all greasy from fingerprints. Okay, enough with the italics already. I did it. I varnished the hall. And I found this:Where I apparently decided oh, what the hell, I'm running out of stain so there's no need to cover every single square inch... »MORE

July 02, 2007
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Day 31, Project 14: Super Flash

By egellia Picture+005

So, I don’t know… I was in bed this morning, with coffee and newspapers -- as any civilized person should be of a sunny Sunday morning -- when suddenly, with no idea how I got there, I found myself in the back hall in some sort of a fugue state with a paintbrush in my hand. Methinks Prudence and Goody are trying to kill off the other selves. ...the people the people the people the people the people… It took four hours -- which means either Johnny overestimated or else I’m better at this than either of us thought (both... »MORE

July 02, 2007
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Day 30, Project 13: Stank!

By egellia Picture+011

(I couldn't get on to Curbly for a few days, so I'm catching up...)Turns out I didn't have to just sand the woodwork. I had to sand it, and then vacuum all the crap off, and then wash it with denatured alcohol before I could even think about staining anything. Why couldn't Andy just stay a-freakin-wake and take Johnny out of here today? So yeah, I'm not staining. Which is not just my decision (and I'll get into that later), but for now, here's these: And (CONTEST ALERT) if you can tell me which one is "before" and which one's... »MORE

July 02, 2007
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Day 29, Project 12: Happy, Nana?

By egellia Img_0093

I don't have a "before" picture -- because it turns out when you check the box that says "delete photos from camera after copying", it actually, you know, does. Same thing happens when you highlight all the pictures in your folder and hit "delete." Go figure. So I don't have a before picture and I don't have as many other pithily-commented illustrations as I'd planned (and maybe, just maybe, when I deleted all my photos after spending an hour carrying heavy boxes -- of albums, no less -- to the basement on a day I didn't feel like doing anything... »MORE

June 29, 2007
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Day 28, Project 11: Swearing A Blue Screen

By egellia Img_0078

My plan today was to drop the screen-door screens off at Curry Hardware (the Ace Place where I have the plus-five-dollar coupon for) -- which is conveniently located on the way to dropping Johnny off at work -- because they’re both torn and we were supposed to get them fixed sometime over the winter. (Oops.) It wasn't until we were actually driving by Curry Hardware that I realized I forgot to bring the screens. So my new plan was to drop them off at the other Ace Hardware on my own way to work. I won’t get to use the... »MORE

June 28, 2007
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Day 27, Project 11: Ta Da!

By egellia Img_0075

Le laundry, c’est finis: Here’s the thing. I woke up this morning (sweating, I might add -- it is so hot here! 97, for those of you inclined to scoff, which I think is like 36 or something for you “Zed”-sayers) with a mind towards staining. I wanted to stain the back hallway -- two doors, three doorframes, and four windows. Trying to decide whether to do it before work (when it would be less hot) or after (when I’d have more time) I asked Johnny how long he thought it would take. “For you to do?” he answered. “Or... »MORE

June 27, 2007
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Day 26?, "Project" 10: The Storm Is Over...

By egellia Img_0067

I did it! I folded all the laundry and put it all away! I have a couch in my bedroom, look! Oh, and I may have overreacted about the rag-bag. I waited to fold laundry till they came out of the dryer, so I could do it all at once. But then I realized there wasn't enough shelf space for all those t-shirts, so I asked Johnny if he had any ideas. He said "Put them in a trash bag in the basement, Hon. They're only rags." But I thought--? You said--!He's only keeping two of them, apparently. He washed... »MORE

June 26, 2007
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