I Will Try To Be Like You All; I May Fail But Cut Me Some Slack, Wouldja?

By ChewMouse

This is a garage

Are you reading me? It's a GARAGE!

And some guy's wife went and made the floor all checkerboard and installed sissy-white cabinets and put everything all anal-retentively neat. He must be so ashamed.

Now see, I would pretend not to notice if I went to their house. Because this is just so wrong.

But Mr. I'm-Married-To-A-Martha-Stewart-Wannabe got her back!

They were out walking and she said, "Oh, look, here are some lovely logs! I have always wanted a shelf made of local wood! Can you make this into a shelf for me? To hang in the family room?"

And he said, "No, that's a log. We can just go to Home Depot and buy some shelves if that's what you want."

And she pouted. So he did the right thing and made the stupid "shelves."

He even put some greenery on there so when pine needles shed all over hell and gone, the little woman can keep herself busy plucking them out of the carpet. It must've been great watching him pounding those logs right into the drywall.

She should've taken pictures of that, had them framed and made them a focal point of the room.

Because what she got instead is horrifying.

Tagged:
marriage garage shelves logs checkerboard wrong husband-pays-back martha-stewart i-ll-probably-get-kicked-off-here-but-i-m-trying family-room no-mice-were-hurt-in-the-making

Did you like this article?

September 26, 2007

5 comments | 784 views |

ChewMouse's blog (2 posts)

Subscribe to this blog
Member since: 09/24/07
About: Writer, teacher, nurse and my house looks like....crap. The empty pool out back does not...

More by ChewMouse

Prev: I Want To Be Your Friend.

Comments

» All comments

island_girl_salvage

September 28, 2007

I was laughing out loud myself thanks

ChewMouse

September 28, 2007

Thanks, folks, it's no big deal. The last sentence "please to be coming into the twenty first century" is what cracked me up.

Phoenix, we all need a laugh from time to time...and redcarpet, I love that cabin. When can you be out of there so I can take it over?

buildnphoenix

September 27, 2007

Funniest thing I've seen on this site, I needed the laugh. Thanks. And like redcarpet says, ignore and/or delete the cavalaxis comment. Some people are just too....sensitive. Take care.

redcarpet

September 27, 2007

I thought it was hilarious, Ms. Mouse. People lacking a sense of humor can be very tiring, just ignore.

cavalaxis

September 27, 2007

Checkerboard floors are not uncommon in high end performance car garages. Y'know, the kinds of garages where you keep them clean because if you spend three thousand dollars on a computerized fuel injection unit, you don't want to accidentally spill Cheetos in it?

Please to be coming into the twenty first century.